i just won 100 bucks on the radio! 98.5 is playing christmas music all month, so of course i listen to that station for the holidays. and they're giving away 100 bucks twice an hour. i've been trying this week to win. earlier in the week i was caller 1 and 4 on the same day. and today i won!! i get to pick up my check in like 3 weeks, right before christmas!

how fucking cool is that!!! and they actually left in me saying "holy crap!" ehehehehhe

shit like that never ever happens to me. maybe i should try the lottery today!! thank you gods!!!!

so there's not really a whole hell of a lot going on in my world as of late.

went to chicago to see some friends. had a great time. was mad b/c it didn't snow while i was there! dammit!!! it drives me nuts when it's colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra (i believe that's the way the saying goes) and then no snow! if it's gonna be cold.. snow dammit!

i'm trying to figure stuff out right now. i put in applications to 3 places to try and get a second job for some additional income. especially since they've cut out overtime at my job. we'll see if i get hired. i really could use the money.

everyone i know is sick. i'm sniffly..but it won't go to being full fledged sick. so that's kinda driving me nuts. it's like.. enough already. let me just get sick and get it over with! this feeling poopey but not all the way sick is just annoying! either be sick or be fine! no half way! grrrr. stupid body!

thanksgiving is next week.. so the holidays are officially upon us. trying to figure out presents for everyone. which is incredibly difficult this year. i know i'm disappointing my family by not going to indy, but i honestly just can't afford it. especially with all that's happened recently. and no. i'm not going to go into it all... suffice it to say i'm fairly on the screwed side.

i'm trying to stay all upbeat and put on my "happy face" mask so as to not piss people off. apparently i come across as all "woe is me" and all. whatever. i'm gettign really tired of putting up appearances (which also happens to be a pretty funny brit comedy show). i just want to be myself.. but i guess some people don't like me. *shrugs*. sigh....

so um.... guess that's really about it. god my life sounds really boring!

i have a new roomate. matt and i like him, he's a co-worker of mine. and it's seemingly going rather well so far. he's fairly unobtrusive, which is nice.

well.. guess that's about it.

have a great friday everyone!

i love you both!

For those lucky to still be blessed with your Mom, this is beautiful.
For those of us who aren't, this is even more beautiful. For those who
are moms, you'll love this.

The young mother set her foot on the path of life. "Is this the long way?" she asked.

And the guide said: "Yes, and the way is hard.
And you will be old before you reach the end of it. But
the end will be better than the beginning."

But the young mother was happy, and she would not
believe that anything could be better than these years. So she
played with her children, and gathered flowers for
them along the way, and bathed them in the clear streams; and
the sun shone on them, and the young Mother cried,
"Nothing will ever be lovelier than this."

Then the night came, and the storm, and the path was
dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother
drew them close and covered them with her mantle, and the children said,

"Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come."

And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and
the children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary.
But at all times she said to the children," A little patience and we
are there."
So the children climbed, and when they reached the top
they said, "Mother, we would not have done it without you."


And the mother, when she lay down at night looked up
at the stars and said, "This is a better day than the last, for my
children have learned fortitude in the face of hardness. Yesterday I
gave them courage.
Today, I've given them strength."


And the next day came strange clouds which darkened
the earth, clouds of war and hate and evil, and the children groped
and stumbled, and the mother said: "Look up. Lift your eyes to the
light. " And the children looked and saw above the clouds
an everlasting glory, and it guided them beyond the
darkness. And that night the Mother said,
"This is the best day of all, for
I have shown my children God."

And the days went on, and the weeks and the months and
the years, and the mother grew old and she was little and bent.
But her children were tall and strong, and walked with
courage. And when the way was rough, they lifted her,
for she was as light as a feather; and at last they came to a hill,
and beyond they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide.
And mother said, "I have reached the end of my journey. And now I know the
end is better than the beginning, for my children can
walk alone, and their children after them."

And the children said, "You will always walk with us,
Mother, even when you have gone through the gates."
And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates
closed after her. And they said: "We cannot see her
but she is with us still. A Mother like ours is more than a memory. She
is a living presence......."

Your Mother is always with you.... She's the whisper
of the leaves as you walk down the street; she's the smell of bleach
in your freshly laundered socks; she's the cool hand
on your brow when you're not well. Your Mother lives inside your laughter.

And she's crystallized in every tear drop.
She's the place you came from, your first home; and
she's the map you follow with every step you take. She's your first love
and your first heartbreak, and nothing on earth can
separate you.

Not time, not space... not even death!

ok.. i was checking flight prices to indy for christmas, and there is absolutely no way we'll be able to afford to fly. it's around 400.00!!! per person roundrip! that's insane! so.. we'll have to take a car. i'm guessign we'll have to rent or will the thunderbird make it?

well, i've been trudging 10 and 11 hour days at work for the past two weeks. so that'll be nice for ot, but god is it exhausting. they have given me umpteen new projects that i have to do on a daily basis, and there are just not enough hours in the day to get it all done. i hate havign all this paperwork on my desk! it drives me nuts! i'm one of those types of workers that doesn't like unresolved issues. i like it finished and done with and a little check in the box to say it's finished. i love my task tracker. i use it all day every day. it's great and keeps me organized. useful little tool. so when that damn little box is not checked off, it drives me insane! and yesterday they added yet another project to the list. it's just getting a bit beyond ridiculous! they're not paying me enough to do the job of 12 people! and i still have to be on the phones and keeping my numbers up, otherwise my spiffs will suffer. this sucks monkey balls!! big fat smelly monkey balls i tell ya!!!

i get home and basically collapse these days.

this past weekend was fun. matt and gene and i went to this park that's over by the apts and walked to the little stream/river thingy that's there. brought my camera and took tons of nature shots. there was this neat pattern of trees that had the same fork in them. and they were in a rown along the stream. it was like each one was a portal into another realm. the energy was awesome! i clamored up into one of the trees and just looked around. it was amazing. and of course i had to hop along the rocks in the stream. there was a nice big one where i was able to lie down and put my hands in the water and just feel the water flow through my fingers. it felt so wonderful to re-connect with nature for a little while. i don't do that nearly enough. i'm so involved in the day to day bullshit of work and such, that most days i forget to truly just stop and feel the breeze on my face, or comprehend the amazement and beauty that is around us every day. matt was taking us to another part of the woods to walk around in, and we were going down a hill, and then i really connected with mother earth. with my ass! yep.. fell smack on my keister and slid down the hill. i just laughed, cuz it was funny as hell! matt and gene were all worried about me,and i just thought it was hysterical. at least i have a lot of cushioning! :) ehehehehe and of course i bruised my butt! i'm such a clutz.

i think this weekend i really want to go up to conyers to the catholic monastary. it's so beautiful and peaceful and serene there. and there's a lake with duckies to feed bread to. and it's nice to have a picnic there. and they have monk bread and honey and there's a greenhouse with bonsai trees and such. and it's just really wonderful there. if i don't go this weekend, i might go next weekend. i want to go soon though. feel the need to spiritually re-connect as well, and i've just always loved it there. phillip took me there longggg ago with is maniacal grandmother, and it's a spot i've revisted every so many years. and it's high time i go back. and i think matt will like it as well. mmmmmm monk bread and monk honey.. mmmmmm

so umm yeah. that's what's going on in my neck of the woods. nothing too incredibly exciting. just life beign life. ups and downs and the plateaus in between. but it's my life. and this weekend i'm goign to clean like the devil. get ready for the holidays and such.

oh.. nitemoves... saw some cute halloween stuff at michaels and at target (even cute stuff at target in the dollar section).

guess that's about it. hope all is well with everyone!